Easier said than done.

Wow.

Gabriella Applin’s new EP is a beaut! <3

well..well…well

Not been on here in ages. SO MUCH has happened and I feel if I don’t share it I may explode.

And for a change its not all negetive.

So I’ve been on holiday since the 9th of December - a month basically. And what a month it has been. 

I’ve pretty much been drunk for the best part of it but anyhoo. Here’s the rundown. 

So xmas day was pretty much the same all the fam, getting together eating dinner and getting drunk. Except this year we were joined by my Grandad, who isn’t actually my biological grandad because he’s only 10 years older than my mum, but I call him that. And we were also joined by my auntie’s best friend and her mum from Dundee. What an amazing accent!! Santa was very good to me also. I got my kindle which I have spent since that day attached to. 

Boxing day was spent working then to  D Dunlop Seniors (dads) for more dinner with “the other side” more pressies, and more monies :) (Dad just handed me £150, well in) had an awesome time, and got drunk…again….Went into town the next day with a few of my favourites..Shawny Boy, Wee Man Broon, Ailsaaaay & Braids. Spent like 2.5 hours in TGI fridays having lunch, nattering and me, yes you guessed it, getting drunk again :P Then decided to go shopping, got a nice tartan scarf and ANOTHER Urban Ourfitters dress. (I’ve bought 4 in the last month!!). So we all set off home and then that was the end of my happiness that day.

Come home to find my mum taking one of her “funny turns” again. Which basically means she’s having a “low” moment. Hating anything and anyone she comes into contact with. I gave her her sleeping tablets and put her up to bed. The next day i was up at 7 for work. Home at 9 then out with the “lads” for a night out in Lloyds. Everything was fine until I get a horrible text from my mum, accusing me or accusing her of stealing my money…ANYWAY Big argument errupted and I ended up sobbing in the toilets, like I said, classy. All my girls soon sorted me out tho…okay partially helped by two tiquella slammers….. and went home buzzing and with no recollection of what situation I’d gotten myself in. 

Wake up in the morning, mum was away out so I could avoid that confrontation for the time being. All was well, UNTIL I SWITCHED I TURNED MY PHONE ON. I had 34 missed calls from my Auntue, totally forgot to text her when I was in so i had to call her feeling shit! My Auntie Elaine is one of my best friends so she was fine as long as I was and promised to visit her later. Once I ended that phonecall, I noticed I had 3 texts from an unknown number. The texts were from a certain someone whom I had been admiring from a far for a few weeks at work. AKA DAN HAS SPENT THE LAST 6 SHIFTS SHE WAS IN WITH THIS PERSON STARING AT HIS ARSE. He had text saying he’d got my number off of my facebook, which I should of been a bit worried by but was secretly quite pleased with. Cutting a long story short, I thought I was doing quite feel. It wasn’t awkward at work or anything because he works for the eBay department so we dont actually see each other much. He stopped texting me after a few days and apart from a few awkward “Hi”s in passing. NOTHING. 

Well that was until he text me yesterday “Hey, sorry I’ve not been in touch for a while. Been busy as flat mate moving out. Anyway, lets cut to the chase. Dinner Sunday Night, Zizzi’s, off princess street? X” Little did he know i was tempted to text back “Lets just CUT dinner out altogether.” I merely replied “Sorry, I have plans, next time xx” Except i have ABSOLUTELY NO PLANS WHATSOEVER. I’m just chicken!!!

URGH. 

I feel I use my tumblr to account the bad times in my life but it can’t be helped…plus my mum has me on FB so would automatically asume I need psychiatric help.

But man, words can don’t even describe how stressed I am. Lets see……

1. I have been left to do my WHOLE university application myself. Because Telford Shitty college have been NO HELP what so ever. I get some random women phoning me at 1O.30 at night offering help - no thanks. I’m lucky I still have Heather :) She phoned me about a week ago for a “chat”. This “chat” was basically sobbing down the phone at how stressed I am. She then did her usually Heather-y thing and demanded that I send her my personal statement and she would look over it for me and correct it. Then she told me to stop crying because she was about to. So I did. And then said that if a single University refused me, she’d personally “kick their arses”. So that made me feel a bit better…UNTIL

2. I was told that I had to work on the night of my BEST FRIENDS party. I love, love, love my job. Its amazing but my god I was fuming!! I’m now working until 8 so gonna be at least an hour late!!! And I’m working at 8.45 the next day so its not even like i can just get drunk and forget about it. I WILL BE THERE. Even if I do turn up in jeans. So tried to get over that THEN

3. I came to the realisation that I have 4 college assessments in the next 4 weeks and am in no way prepared for any one of them. so I may fail them, fail my course and not even get into Uni. I’m way behind on ALL my work, because of my stupid back!! It seems to be getting worse, I’m taking 14 tablets a day so I’m not in pain, but waking up like I haven’t even slept. And now I’m scared that even if I get into Uni, I’m going be to tired/weak to even manage it. HOWEVER

4. I had a very lovely day on Monday :) Was completely random and unplanned. For the first time EVER, I think I felt like someone liked me for me. And their may have been a fuzzy feeling….if it ends up being anything like the last time then I’m fucked. Lets just hope HE doesn’t mess me about, take my virginity (well that can’t happen twice I suppose) and then let slip he already has a girlfriend.

BUT, for now its my bestest friend in the whole world’s birthday so I am going to her house and I’m going to put on my best fake smile and be happy because she deserves it. 

you know what.

I’M SLIGHTLY ANGRY.

I’m going to bed.

Up for a driving lesson at 10, then into town to pick up my best friends birthday present. Was quite looking forward to just going myself but it seems that may not be the case anymore….hmmmm.

Not sure, not sure.

Adele/Bon Iver/James Vincent McMorrow

Are never good to listen to if you’re close to crying and ffs, I’m actually praying fix you doesn’t turn up during my late night shuffle sesh with mr pod..although as I have 6 different version/covers of the song on it there is a 6 in 867 chance that this will happen.

Yeeeeeey

Well out of my list of things to do today, as usual, I got ZERO done.

Rooms still a mess, still got two psychology essays to do and only done about 3/4 of my personal statement.

But apart from that, life is good.

Bon Iver never fails to make me cry if I need to.

Although, a bit of dust in my eyes these days is enough to set me off.

FAAAAAAAAAAR too over emotional for my own good.

Plus in a rage because I’d plan to get up dead early tomorrow and go swimming just myself but NO. Nature obviously had to intervene with my plans so I will now probably be spending my day in pain, eating chocolate and procrastinating as much as ever.

For now I’m gonna be even more sucky, stick on the notebook, whip oot the Jammy D’s and have a good ol’ sob whilst lusting over Ryan Gosling :)